This weekend, my program took us on a trip to Krakow,
Poland. My anticipation for the trip differed than for other trips because of
the obvious heaviness that would ensue. We stayed in Krakow, but visited
Auschwitz Birkenau. I must tell you, this will not be a light post. This
weekend trip was probably the most emotionally exhausting trip I’ve ever taken,
and very may well be the most difficult thing I’ll do while I study abroad. In
preparation for the trip, my program held a screening of Schindler’s List. Watching
the movie is an emotional experience in it and itself, but watching the movie
knowing that I would be visiting Schindler’s factory as well as Auschwitz took
it to an entirely new level.
Thursday, October 17
We left for Krakow in the mid-afternoon and arrived in
Krakow at 2am. The bus ride was long (seven hours!), but it was easy enough,
and by the time we arrived at our hostel, we fell right asleep.
Friday, October 18
We woke up early today for a walking tour of Krakow and a
tour of the Jewish ghetto and Schindler’s Factory. It was interesting being
taken around another city that bares a great resemblance to Prague. We toured a
huge castle and a gorgeous baroque cathedral. As we walked along the river, we
came across a huge dragon statue that breathes real fire! Our tour guide told
us that little kids are usually the ones most amused by the fire-breathing
dragon and we all laughed because we (the Americans) were highly impressed by
the landmark. After a nice lunch break, we regrouped and walked to the Jewish
quarter of Krakow. At the center of the quarter is a memorial to the Krakow
Jews who lost their lives during the Holocaust. During the Holocaust, Poland
lost 90% of its Jewish population. 75,000 of those people were from Krakow. It
is Jewish tradition to place rocks on graves. There are many interpretations to
why this is so. I believe it is because rocks are part of the earth already and
aren’t fleeting. They are also more permanent and very grounded. This memorial
was a big boulder, representing the utmost earthiness and groundedness.
Spielberg shot a lot of scenes for Schindler’s List in Krakow’s Jewish Quarter
so we were able to see iconic locations during our walking tour. We came across
a narrow alleyway that has a staircase and apartment doors and I was upset
because this location was used during one of the most violent scenes in the
movie. On our way to Schindler’s Factory, we walked through the Jewish ghetto.
All of the buildings were drab and gray. A portion of the ghetto wall still
stands and it holds a plaque that memorializes those who died. I didn’t love
the tour of Schindler’s Factory. It is now a museum about Krakow’s history
during the Nazi occupation, but it was claustrophobic and overwhelming. After
the museum tour, we were all happy to head back to the hostel and rest our
feet.
Looking up at the castle
What remains of the walls of the Krakow Ghetto. The Nazis constructed the walls to look like Jewish tomb stones so that the Jews constantly were reminded of their imminent fate.
The stairs used in multiple scenes of Schindler's List. The most notable is the scene where they liquidize the ghetto.
Freeze frame from the ghetto liquidation scene in Schindler's List. Notice the stairs
Memorial to the Krakow Jews who lost their lives
Jewish cemetery in Krakow dating back to the 14th century
Fire breathing dragon on the banks of the river!
Exterior of the gorgeous cathedral in Krakow
Entrance to the Jewish Synagogue
A wall surrounding the Jewish Cemetery made from Jewish tomb stones
Center of the Krakow Ghetto. These stairs are a memorial to those who lost their lives.
Krakow's town center
Saturday, October 19
I woke up feeling poorly rested. I think I had dreams that
were provoked by the anxiety of today’s trip to Auschwitz. It dampened my mood,
but understandably so. Most everyone on the trip was a bit nervous about
today’s event. A few of my friends and I wandered around Krakow for the morning
before boarding the bus to Auschwitz at 1:30pm. The bus ride took a little over
an hour and as we walked off the bus, my friend James told me that he couldn’t
believe that we were actually here. Our tour began as we walked through the
gate that holds a sign overhead that reads, “Work will set you free.” Our tour
guide was very informative and sensitive to our many emotions on the tour. The
bunkers of Auschwitz have been converted into different exhibits, showcasing
different aspects of the Holocaust. I got very emotional when we had a chance
to see all of the shoes. There were cases on cases of shoes; all different
shoes, all unmatched. We were also made aware of the Nazis factory-like
demeanor towards the extermination of the Jews. They didn’t want anything to go
to waste, including hair. So in the same exhibit of the shoes, we saw piles and
piles in full-length wall cases of hair. I was so repulsed and upset by the
sight. My friend Dani ran up to me and grabbed my hand and we walked together
for the rest of the tour silently holding each other while we dabbed our eyes.
Our tour of Auschwitz concluded with a walk through the gas chambers and
crematorium. The minute we stepped into the chamber, I sobbed. I was so
disturbed to be in the place where hundreds of thousands of people were
murdered. I was scared and upset and I wanted to go. Everyone in my group was
crying. We all held each other as we walked back to the buses. We then headed
to Birkenau. The bus was silent. Nobody could really bring themselves to talk
and all you could hear were a few whimpers and sniffling of noses. We arrived
at Birkenau and I was astonished by the vastness and emptiness of the land. We
walked through the gate and crossed the train tracks. I felt physically ill. I
was so overwhelmed at the thought of 1.1 million people entering those gates
and never leaving them. The bunkers at Auschwitz are brick and although the
living conditions were absolutely abhorrent (I don’t have the vocabulary to
properly express this), the bunkers at Birkenau were made of wood. They had
absolutely no insulation and had a horrid draft all the time. As you could
assume, Poland’s temperatures fall to sub-zero in the winter, and the victims
were given only one layer of clothing. The Nazis intended to completely break
them down, both physically and emotionally/mentally. We walked into the wooden
bunker that served as a latrine and saw the cement holes lined up next to one
and other. There were hundreds of them. The victims had no privacy and were
completely stripped of dignity. I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to leave. I
was so disturbed as I attempted to imagine what it would’ve been like. We left
the bunker and headed back to the train tracks. We walked to a lone train
compartment on the tracks. “This is where the train would stop,” our tour guide
explained. The selection process occurred and if the victims were waved to the
left, they were sent straight to the gas chambers, and if they were waved
right, they were sent to the camp. Birkenau is so open and flat and vast that
depth perception becomes deceiving. What looks like a nearby guard tower, is
really a ways away. The path to the chambers seemed never-ending. We walked to
the crematorium at the end of the path and the train tracks just stopped. They
just ended. There were tracks all over Europe that lead to this one and here
was the end of it. After liberation, the Nazis blew up all that they could of
Birkenau. We were able to see what remained of one of the gas chambers, and we
were able to pay our respects at a haunting memorial at the end of the tracks.
The sun was beginning to set and by the time we reached the entrance gates, it
was pitch black. Nothing has ever felt so ominous and eerie. A few friends and
I walked as quickly as we could to the bus, anxious to leave and never see this
place again. This was something that I needed to see. It is a part of history
that can never be forgotten and the preservation of Auschwitz has allowed many
generations to remember. This was something that I needed to see, but I never,
ever want to return. Just writing this post has been upsetting because I had to
relive the trip. This trip was one of the hardest experiences I’ve endured.
(apologies that the photos aren't in order)
The vastness of Birkenau is haunting
A fraction of the shoes on display at Auschwitz I
More open ground at Birkenau
Suitcases labeled by their owners
Auschwitz I
Beds in the Birkenau bunkers. At least 4 people slept on each bed
Birkenau: Where the train would stop and the unloading of victims would happen. From here, the victims underwent "selection."
View of the "Death Gates" at Birkenau from the end of the train tracks
Train tracks at Birkenau
At the base of the memorial at Birkenau: "For ever let this place be a cry of despair and a warning to humanity. Here the Nazis murdered about one and a half million men, women, and children. Mainly Jews from various countries of Europe. Auschwitz-Birkenau 1940-1945"
What remains of the massive gas chambers and crematorium at Birkenau
Birkenau
The gates were especially eerie once the sun set
The memorial at the crematorium/far end of the camp
Gates of Birkenau
Brick bunkers at Auschwitz I
Wooden bunkers and expansive land at Birkenau
Horrifying sign at the entrance of Auschwitz I. It reads "Work will set you free"
Sunday, October 20
After a semi-restless night, I woke up and had a really nice
breakfast with friends. We came across a huge, outdoor Polish market and had a
chance to buy some souvenirs. We then boarded the buses and headed back to
Prague.
My eyes are tired, I’m exhausted, but I feel so lucky. I am
so blessed to be alive and live the life that I do. I made an effort to relax
and unwind on Saturday night so that I didn’t fall into a deep funk. If we were
to visit the camps and then live the rest of our lives in a great depression
because of what we saw, they would’ve died in vain. The visit to the camps made
the Holocaust all the more real to me, and while I am greatly disturbed and
traumatized by what I saw, I now have an appreciation for life that I couldn’t
see before. It is our job to never forget that this happened, but also to live
fully as if we are living for them, too.
Czeching out,
Grace
